


Opposite Sexes

by misura



Category: She's the Man (2006)
Genre: Crossdressing, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-18
Updated: 2011-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Olivia likes Viola, who pretended she was Sebastian, who likes Duke, who wishes he was still roommates with Viola.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Opposite Sexes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zoicite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoicite/gifts).



Paul knows things are bad when he asks: "is this about Monique?" because he figures what with Sebastian having dated the girl for _months_ , there might be some emotional scarring there, and Sebastian looks at him like he's got no idea who Paul is talking about.

"Your ex-girlfriend?" Paul tries, because, you know, _guys_. And Sebastian may be Viola's twin brother and all ( _baby_ brother, more like) but he's never exactly struck Paul as the brightest crayon in the box - cute, yes, and his music's kind of awesome, but that's pretty much it.

Well, that, and the fact he's just asked Paul to turn him into a girl. As regular, normal guys do. Not.

"Oh," Sebastian says, like Paul should've just said so in the first place. "Her."

Paul sends a look that's a cry for help in Kia's direction. "Yes. Her."

"Why would I want you to make me a girl because of Monique?" Sebastian sounds confused.

Paul maybe sort of wants to hug him, except not really. "Why _do_ you want me to turn you into a girl?"

"Well," Sebastian says, kind of eagerly, the way people do when you're about to make them look fabulous, and they want to tell you their deepest, darkest secrets in return, like how they've come up with thirty-four scenarios to get rid of their neighbor's favorite dog, "there's this guy ..."

 

It doesn't really make sense to Viola that in Illyria, a girl can be on the soccer team, but it's absolutely out of the question that she'd be lab partners with another girl. Possibly, it's a dean thing. Sexual tension, and all that rubbish. Which, obviously, couldn't possibly happen between two girls.

Like, who has ever heard of lesbians?

"Have you ever thought about kissing another girl?" Olivia asks.

"Um, no?" Sebastian thinks Olivia is hot. Of course, Sebastian also thought Monique was hot, and yeah, it probably says a lot about guys that he thinks about two completely different girls in exactly the same terms.

"Not even when you were - you know." Olivia makes a vague gesture.

"Oh. Well. I guess." Sure, she _thought_ about it. With, you know, instant panic and sweaty palms. Manly guys kiss girls, and Sebastian had been supposed to be a _very_ manly guy.

"Because when we were lab partners, you said you didn't think of me that way."

"Yeah, because, you know, I was a girl pretending to be a guy and you were a girl, and well, you know." If Olivia does, that'd make one of them, but Viola hopes it sort of sounds like it makes sense.

Olivia nods. Viola sags a little more, relieved.

"You didn't want to kiss me under false pretenses," Olivia says and hey, that sounds like a pretty good explanation to Viola.

"Exactly."

 

Paul tries to put up a fight, he really does. He's got principles, damn it, and he's _working_ here, all right? As in: earning money? As in: not here to do favors for people he barely even knows?

Yvonne eyes him sympathetically. While also sort of implying that she's carrying, and not afraid to ruin his hair for a month, if he doesn't do the smart thing here, which is, apparently, turn yet another lovely girl into a boy. As if once wasn't bad enough - and, okay, Viola had a reason, and Paul is still proud of her, but seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

"But _why?_ "

Olivia tosses back her hair. Her lovely, lovely hair that deserves so much better than to get stuffed under a wig like a dirty little secret. "There this girl ... " she says, and at that moment, Paul imagines he can hear the universe laughing at him, because _of course_. Of course.

"Viola," he says.

 

Duke thinks there's probably a word for someone who looks at his perfect, hot, perfect, awesome, perfect, hot, perfect girlfriend and sort of wishes she was dressed like a dude and called herself Sebastian. It's probably 'idiot'.

Even if he doesn't really want Viola to dress up as Sebastian - he meant it when he said that to her; he just wants ... something else. Viola's Sebastian was always a little bit crazy, a bit too much, but there were moments when Viola'd stop trying so hard and they'd just _talk_ and now that Viola's Viola again, that just doesn't seem to happen anymore.

Viola's a girl all the time now, and Duke isn't particularly good with girls.

 

Sebastian isn't sure how Viola manages to be a girl _all the time_. Being a girl is _hard_. He's gotten a lot of tips and advice from Paul, who really is a nice guy, once you get past the prickly, hair-gelled exterior, and he still feels like he only really succeeds maybe half the time.

Meaning that half the time, he feels like a guy dressed like a schoolgirl, with fake boobs.

Not a good feeling to have, especially when your roommate walks in on you trying to get your wig to stay on right already.

 

Olivia isn't sure how Viola managed to be a boy for even an hour, let alone _days_. Being a boy is _hard_. She keeps getting the feeling people are staring at her, and not to stare at her boobs or something, the way they usually do. She doesn't know how boys deal with it.

Maybe boys are just too dumb to feel uncomfortable being boys. After all, take Sebastian. He's not a bad guy or anything; he's cute (looks, not personality), he writes super sensitive lyrics (talent, not personality) and he's a pretty good kisser (again: not a personality trait).

It's not that he's a poor boyfriend; it's just that he's, well, a boyfriend.

"Olivia?"

And maybe, Olivia thinks, she's not the kind of girl anymore who's going to settle for a boyfriend.

She turns. "Actually, it's Vince. Vince Lennox. What up?"

 

"Dude," Duke says. "What are you _doing_?"

Sebastian considers laughing it off, making it a lame joke - guys can let other guy get away with a _lot_ , especially when they're roomies. Better to forget and move on than spend months living with a guy who thinks you're a freak, or who _you_ think is a freak.

"Dude, what does it _look_ like I'm doing? How about giving me a hand, huh?"

Mama Orsino raised her son well; Duke comes over and helps. Well, _tries_ to help. He's no Paul, that's for sure - which might be just as well.

"You look like Viola." Duke Orsino: master of stating the obvious.

Although maybe that's a bit unfair; it's not as if Sebastian's been doing a lot of explaining thus far. Or, well, any explaining at all. "That's the idea, actually."

 

"Uh," Viola says, feeling like maybe she accidentally took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in Weirdville. Where someone who looks exactly like Olivia is dressed up like a boy.

Kind of a hot boy, even. Well, Olivia's a good-looking gal; no reason why she shouldn't make for a good-looking dude, too, aside from, you know, the whole 'dressing up like a boy' part.

"So can I kiss you now?" Olivia - Vince - whomever says.

"What?" Definitely in Weirdville - the only question is how she's going to get out of here again. "Why?"

"Because I really liked you when you were dressed as a boy, only you wouldn't kiss me then because you were actually a girl, but now _I'm_ dressed up as a boy, so I thought maybe it would be okay to kiss you now."

 

"Okay," Duke says. "Why are you trying to look like Viola?"

Sebastian notes that Duke doesn't refer to her as 'my girlfriend', or even 'Vi'. "Because you liked me better when I wasn't me, because Vi was being me, except that now _I'm_ me, and I get really tired of you looking at me like you wished I was someone I'm not, except that, you know, I am. Me."

It had sounded a lot more logical in his head.

Still, in for a penny, in for a pound, as they'd said in London. "So I figured that maybe if I pretended I was Viola, you'd like me better. I can do her voice, too, you know. Want me to do her voice?"

 

"All right, fine, you can kiss me." Viola's kissed loads of guys - actual guys, at the kissing booth at the festival. Well, one, actually, because Justin had to come and be stupid, but it's the principle of the thing.

If she'd have been up for kissing a bunch of total strangers for charity, why not kiss a really good friend for uh friendship? A _hot_ good friend.

 

"No, I don't want you to do her voice," Duke says, like he means it.

"Okay."

"I want you to - I don't know. This is just weird."

"Well, hey, don't worry about it." Point made, Sebastian pulls off the wig. "Just wanted to let you know your options, bro. You figure things out, just say the word."

Five seconds of silence, and then: "You really call people 'bro'?"

 

"I liked that," Olivia says. "A lot."

This, Viola thinks, might be a problem.

On the other hand, it might be a solution, too. Maybe it's time for Illyria to take the next step - girls on the soccer team _and_ girls being lab partners with other girls.

"Next time, maybe try it without the fake moustache?"


End file.
